Grand Plans: September 28, 2023

A semi-monthly newsletter from Grand Plans designed to normalize and celebrate our glorious geri-destiny through information, stories, real talk conversation, smart planning and shared experience.

Geri-news you can use

If you’re not thinking about how you will pay for long-term care during your golden years you are doing yourself, and your loved ones, an expensive disservice — time to take off those rose-colored glasses and start some serious grand-planning! “About one in six Americans are now age 65 or older and, as the average population ages, a majority are reaching the age of retirement in a precarious financial position, as costs of personal care continue to rise.”

We may live to see the day when organ donations are just a dog bed, or pigsty, away. Amazing.

But will we find a cure for rotten egg breath? Hhhhhh-I can hhhhhhh-only hhhhhhhope.

Here’s an inspiring example of some geri-Rolling Stones kicking a** during their senior stroll, followed by a not-so-inspiring example of a geri-Rolling Stone being a total a**.

Wordle is a great game for our aging brain chemistry, but don’t be a cheat!

It’s one thing to be getting older, but another to go at it lugging around a bunch of unnecessary anxiety. Here are some tips on what it is and how to dump it.

“Want to stay healthy well into your golden years? Grab a bag of clubs and hit the green, new research suggests. Golfing beat walking or even Nordic walking (a full-body workout that consists of walking using specialized poles) when it came to improving several key measures of heart health in the small study.”

These are my fears because my dream is to live in a high rise condominium tower where I can gaze out into the sunset and nap and wear muumuus all day.

Scientists discover how brain cells die in Alzheimer’s. I hate that disease, but am glad smart people are studying it.

I like the idea of driverless shuttles, but man are they a pretty penny as this story in the Florida Times-Union shows. These are the trends though that we one-day-geris should be super stoked about, no matter the cost IMHO. (PAYWALL).

Flying taxis also will be just the ticket when my smart, compassionate peeps take my keys away.

Geris-prudence

This article answers the oft-asked question, “What is the difference between a revocable and an irrevocable trust and why might I need one in my estate planning?” It’s all important to know as you get legit about your legal grand planning.

Read about the outcome of a California lawsuit filed by death doulas who sought to challenge the state funeral directors’ monopoly on end-of-life care. Never heard of a death doula? Educate yourself before you mis-prepareth yourself!

Fit as a fiddle

Here’s how to stay healthy by taking the steps to prevent falls from the Administration for Community Living:

When you’re young, an injury from a fall may sideline you for a few days or weeks, but a full recovery is usually quick. As you get older, the consequences of falls can become more serious, setting up a sequence of events that can have longstanding implications on independence and health.

It doesn’t have to be that way, however. Although falls typically become more common and can be more serious as you age, falls are not a natural part of getting older. In fact, most falls are preventable. Knowing the factors that put you at greater risk of falling and taking proper steps can help prevent falls.

Risk factors for falls in older people include overall health (chronic diseases and physical conditions), environment (hazards and situations at home) and behaviors, such as rushing around or standing on a chair to reach something.

These steps from the experts at the National Council on Aging can help prevent falls:

• Stay active: Exercise helps increase or maintain coordination and muscle tone that can keep you steady on your feet and your reactions sharp. Walking, gardening or taking an exercise class are just a few ways to keep your heart healthy and your muscles toned.

• Manage underlying chronic conditions: The better your overall health, the lower your risk of falls. Chronic conditions like diabetes, depression, osteoarthritis, obesity and high blood pressure can increase your risk. Managing those conditions by seeing your health care provider regularly, taking medication as prescribed, eating a healthy diet and choosing appropriate exercise can help prevent falls.

• Review medications: Side effects from and interactions with some medications can cause dizziness that can increase the risk of falling. Types of medicine associated with an increased risk include sedatives and diuretics as well as those used to treat high blood pressure and anxiety. Talk to your doctor about all prescriptions and over-the-counter medicines you are taking.

• Get your eyes checked: Vision changes as you age, so it is important to get your eyes checked once a year to make sure your prescription is up to date and screen for any eye-related diseases like cataracts and glaucoma, which are usually treatable when caught at an early stage.

• Assess your home: Look around your home for potential hazards. Consider enlisting the help of a family member or neighbor who may be more likely to notice things you don’t. Install grab bars in your bathrooms, get rid of slippery throw rugs (or add a rubber backing) and keep passageways inside and outside your home well-lit and free from clutter and debris. For more tips and information, visit https://www.acl.gov/fallsprevention.

The grand sum

“Retirement is full of life upheavals and new activities. Finances also tend to change.

Understanding your options for living in retirement and spending long-saved monies may be more complicated than mastering pickleball; yet couples who navigate all of this change together tend to be financially healthier than those who delegate to one person or ignore the financial changes.” Read this insightful piece on finances, planning and retirement published this month by the nonprofit news source NextAvenue.org, you’ll be glad you did.

Podcast News: Grand Plans Season 2

It’s on, ya’ll! I hope you enjoyed hearing from “the yoots,” the Sewanee Cool Kids, in the first two episodes of Grand Plans season two. In episode three, we talk to Jacksonville Realtor and longtime friend Kimberly Waterhouse about the softer side of the sunset stroll. I know you’ll love Kimberly’s no-nonsense, heartfelt thoughts on grand planning.

Things I’m prattling on about today

I have heard it said over and over again — sometimes in this venue and many times from my own mouth — how negative experiences and non-Grand-Planning can reframe, mar or even WRECK a loved one’s once legacy.

The older woman I helped during her final years was for many years a second mother to me. She’s part of my earliest memories. An OG working mom, she had high standards and gave generously of herself to create opportunities for others. She was a warm hugger, called you honey and meant it and she was inventive, wise and principled. After my caregiving experience with her, those memories have been reduced to angry reflections that I’ve shoved down deep. Now all I remember is all the stuff, the unfinished business, the refusals to think rationally and the PTSD stress that entire last chapter blasted into my life. When I think of her now, all I feel is rage. Isn’t that horrible?

In Michael Hebb’s Let’s Talk about Death (over Dinner): An Invitation and Guide to Life’s Most Important Conversation, one of the conversation prompts is “What kind of legacy do you wish to leave?” This is such a critical thought! It’s obviously different for all of us, but who wants to pursue a legacy that is negatively charged, deplorable or so headshakingly painful no one wants to remember it?

This is something for us to consider and try our very best to avoid as we move toward our senior stroll. We must protect the legacies we’ve worked our entire lives to build and refuse to let obstinance, poor preparation and ego reduce us to a pitiful portrayal of how NOT to be. #GrandPlans

Shelf Life

Today’s book recommendation is From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life by Arthur C. Brooks. He talks a lot about the teaching, mentoring, giver of unconditional love role we all need to embrace as we age and advance in our work and careers. It’s so important! Also, Brooks is a big deal now that his book with Oprah Winfrey just came out. It’s called Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier. As you might guess, it also is a super winner, soon-to-be-bestseller page-turner of epic proportions.

Shared experience

We can all learn from each other’s geri-scary moments. What are some of your takeaway lessons? What have you promised yourself you’ll never do to your loved ones? What worked for you? What didn’t? More conversation and story-sharing helps elevate the geri-experience for all of us. If you are willing to share your grand tales, email susannabarton@me.com and I’ll put them in an upcoming newsletter. Here’s today’s Shared Experience:

“After my father’s death, I created a document for my family with tons of financial information – monthly withdrawals, loan and credit card information, medical information plus the usual will and lawyer information. I also included a list of friends with their contact numbers of who would be helpful resources. I have lot of family pieces and created an inventory of those. I have declared talking about finances is like sex education when kids are little. Just like everyone has private parts, we all have checking accounts. I don’t want my family having to call banks to find out if we banked there.”

— Anonymous

O-Bitchin

This obituary is short and sweet and exceedingly beautiful — written in first person, which is always meaningful.

Richard W. Marshall (1940-2023)

These last months of dying hurt, but I know it is temporary until I cross the bridge. If you are reading this, I have set sail on my final voyage to the other side, leaving this earth and its gravity pull. My remains are being turned to ashes. You may visit me on certain days at Old Bull Bay, Jacksonville, FL when the winds are NE 12-15 knots and the sun is setting creating acres of diamonds on the water.

I leave behind my loving wife of 37 years, three daughters, five grandchildren, and my faithful dog, Scout. Goodbye to my host of good friends, I wish you all "fair winds and following seas." And remember to follow your dreams and live your "dash."

Some golden gedunk and goods

My friend recommended this Neal’s Yard lotion and balm one time during a girls’ weekend and it smells absolutely heavenly.

Inexpensive plain ole cotton white sheet sets are hard to find! I tried these and I LOVE.

Sprinkle some of this on those nice white sheets and you’ll be down for the count!

Check out our Grand Plans merch in our new Etsy storefront.