Grand Plans: October 12, 2023
A semi-monthly newsletter from Grand Plans designed to normalize and celebrate our glorious geri-destiny through information, stories, real talk conversation, smart planning and shared experience.
Geri-news you can use
Parkinson’s disease is the WOAT, IMHO. But it’s not a death sentence, and new science is revealing hope and a better understanding of this brain disorder that affects so many aging adults.
This is a Franciscan priest’s perspective, but I think Fr. Richard Rohr’s thoughts on compassion are important to remember as we age and our empathy dulls.
You know what also dulls as we age? Our knowledge of current trends, pop culture references, memes and good intel currency! We must do better if we want to be culturally relevant — and appear super smart and informed. Wow the yoots in your life with knowledge of Taylor Swift’s Seemingly Ranch (and why it turned the Empire State Building red and white) and men’s interest in the Roman Empire.
Yasss, the Golden Bachelor begins and reels in 4 million viewers! I hope this television concept doesn’t lose its shine. Shows like this may be the new normal because viewers over the age of 60, “Boomers” and people like me who lust after Lester Holt at 6:30 p.m. sharp and on the daily during NBC Nightly News, are the biggest audience demographic and the last big holdout for network television stations. (PAYWALL)
There are geri-risks — and costs! — of course, but yes please on the full body MRI movement.
Conscientious people are my favorite, and good thing because they live the longest, it appears.
Aggressive loved ones make for difficult caregiving situations, but here’s some good direction on memory care for tough patients. And some senior living tips for elderly men.
Most of us know that older is usually better, but would you believe it smells better, too?
Geris-prudence
Are you caring for your aging parents? San Antonio, TX-based estate lawyer Seth Bell — a wonderful human being and hometown friend — explains what you need to make it official in this short video. “As our parents get older, they often involve their children more and more in their day-to-day lives, whether it be financial matters or healthcare matters — you need to make sure that your roles are official.”
Fit as a fiddle
Health & Fitness Tips from my favorite Silver Sneakers fitness instructor and ACE-certified personal trainer, Amy Gunther M Ed of Amy Gunther Personal Training:
DO focus on daily behavior as opposed to results.
DO something active EVERY day!
DO 20-40 minutes of cardiovascular exercise 2-4 times per week.
DO 20-40 minutes of strength training 2-4 times per week.
DO try to drink half your body weight in ounces of water a day.
DO include a protein, a carbohydrate and a healthy fat in all of your meals.
DO eat as many veggies as you would like!
DON’T dwell on mistakes like poor food choices or skipping your workout, move on and make better choices tomorrow!
DON’T eat to the point of being “stuffed” and don’t go so long without eating that you feel “starved.”
DON’T eat high starch carbohydrates (potatoes, rice, pasta, bread) three hours before bedtime.
DON’T rely on fast food and packaged processed foods when you are on the go. These foods are high in calories, fat, preservatives and sodium. Plan ahead and pack snacks!
DON’T eat foods on a regular basis that contain partially hydrogenated oils (trans fats), enriched flours, high fructose corn syrup, sugar, food colorings and preservatives.
The grand sum
If you haven’t yet had the sit down with your financial advisor — and/or your person — about the yins and yangs of long-term care insurance, get this important conversation on the schedule stat! It is hands-down one of the most debatable issues on our geri-horizon, and there is no wrong choice. Not up for debate, however, is the fact insurers don’t write long-term care policies like they did in the good ‘ole days. Why should we care? “About 70 percent of Americans who reach age 65 will need some long-term care during their remaining years, according to a study from the Urban Institute and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Although some people will get by with unpaid care from family members and others, nearly half will need some paid assistance. About 24 percent will need more than two years of paid care, and 15 percent will spend two-plus years in a nursing home.” Learn more about long-term care insurance, its costs, and its benefits in this informative article from AARP.
Podcast News: Grand Plans Season 2
Next up in the Season 2 lineup is an interview with the unstoppable, pank-haired, Jacksonville media maven, Kerry Speckman. Kerry generously shares her personal journey with caregiving as a motherless, now fatherless, daughter, and I know her personal perspective will resonate, especially if you’ve been in her shoes. Hear Grand Plans Season 2 Episode 4 via this link or wherever you score your podcast downloads.
Things I’m prattling on about today
One of the most common stories I have heard and experienced about seniors navigating their Golden Years ends like this: “I don’t want to talk about it or think about it.” My dad said it this way: “Everything’s fine (translation: I don’t want to talk about it).” An elder friend I helped manage said it this way: “I won’t (translation: Go away — or something worse. I’m not engaging).”
How is this approach acceptable? I did not push my father to discuss this because I felt we had plenty of time left to dissect his strategy. But with my elder friend, I did. I pressed the issue with follow-up questions like: “Then how?” or “By whom?” and “With what?” And when there were NO GOOD ANSWERS, I helped implement the only workable plan, the one that “won’t.”
Relationships with older adults and parents are tough because we must contend with respect and history and independence (and the fact they are adults who can make their own choices), I get that. But why do we let our older friends and family live in a dreamland of unworkable scenarios until it’s crisis time — our crisis time? Do we let our teenagers act this way? Do we allow middle-schoolers to say, “I don’t want to talk about it” when we ask them if they’ve done their homework? Do we just watch while our high school seniors stick their heads in the sand about college or career plans?
I am well aware of the nuances, just thinking out loud. I want my Grand Plan to include real-talk conversations with my loved ones and an acceptance of their ideas and hopes. In fact, I will do whatever they tell me to do because like a parent feels about their teenager, I will know my adult children or friends have only my best interest in mind.
Shelf Life
Today’s book recommendation is a two-fer and they are bother two-rrific, as in must-reads of ASAP proportions. In both books, the author Margareta Magnusson does a beautiful job celebrating and simplifying the process of aging, and how we can all embrace it and be more prepared for the outcomes. Reading her work is like sitting in a comfy chair listening to someone wiser and calmer and non-judgey explain what’s ahead and where you should go. I’d start with The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning and then get into The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly. These books will inspire and inform, and your children will thank you later for reading them!
Shared experience
We can all learn from each other’s geri-scary moments. What are some of your takeaway lessons? What have you promised yourself you’ll never do to your loved ones? What worked for you? What didn’t? More conversation and story-sharing helps elevate the geri-experience for all of us. If you are willing to share your grand tales, email susannabarton@me.com and I’ll put them in an upcoming newsletter. Here’s today’s Shared Experience:
“What have we learned that we won’t repeat? We will not wait too long to leave our two-story home and move into a place where we can build a group of friends and support system before we need it, and where our daughter can be certain we will be cared for as we age. I begged my parents for years to get out of that house. They’d visit retirement communities, eat the free lunch, but not make a move. Then, my dad had a stroke and everyone panicked. We were super lucky just to find a place for them to go, let alone a place they love, which they do. The chance they would have had to take something they didn’t love were high at that point, because they HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE. I credit the Holy Spirit. There’s no other explanation.”
— Anonymous
O-Bitchin
Wish I could hear his last joke!
Randall Jacobs: Phoenix - Randall Jacobs of Phoenix died at age 65, having lived a life that would have sent a lesser man to his grave decades earlier. His friends called him RJ, but to his family he was Uncle Bunky, a.k.a. The Bunkster. He told his last joke, which cannot be printed here, on May 4th, 2020. (Read the rest of this viral obituary here.)
Some golden gedunk and goods
Apparently, the Mrs. Roper and casserole supper vibe is in, and has come a long way since its humble Three’s Company beginnings. If you’re looking for muumuus to complete your 70s house diva aesthetic, check these bad betches out. I bought a few for my she-family to float around in during a recent beach weekend, and they’re actually VERY cute and come in lots and lots of cute colors.
The cool kids are Mahjong all day long, but if you don’t get it or aren’t up for the challenge, give Rummikub a try. This tile game checks a lot of geri-boxes: it’s fun, forces you to use your brain, and provides a social opportunity for friends and family of all ages.
Does this collagen peptide make hair grow longer and more luscious? I wish. Maybe? Who knows. But I do think it helps with geri-joint pain and you can’t taste it at all if you put it in your coffee.
Check out our Grand Plans merch in our new Etsy storefront.
