Grand Plans: May 23, 2024
A semi-monthly newsletter from Grand Plans designed to normalize and celebrate our glorious geri-destiny through information, stories, real talk conversation, smart planning and shared experience.
Things I’m prattling on about today
A decade or more ago, I worked with my father and in-laws on two books detailing the lives and legacies of Ben and Marley's family through the generations. It was rich and inspiring work. The end product was two typo-riddled books, "The Men of Your House Part I and II" and "The Women of Your Genes," that included photos and short biographies of our children's parents, grandparents, great grands and beyonds. Each write-up concluded with a short statement about the person's "legacy gift," the strengths they exhibited in their lives that perhaps the kids could pick up on and practice in their own experience. I loved this project because it helped distill an important lesson that I really want the kids to wrap their minds around now, before it's too late: the things people remember most about us -- for better or worse! --become our legacy, like it or not. And it begs the question for all of us: how are we living life with a legacy mindset?
Do you want to be remembered as a person who was always running around like a chicken with their head cut off with no connection time for anyone, anywhere, anytime or the person who made time for others, listened well and offered sage direction? Do you envision you legacy as one aligned with your strengths and interests, perhaps expressing meaningful philanthropy toward organizations that have personal meaning to you, or one more connected to generosity of service, time or presence? Do you wish your legacy to be defined by altruism and wisdom or for being frugal with gifts and strengths of any kind? In some ways, considering your legacy is about philanthropy -- and how and what you will share.
Here are some of the legacy gifts we filtered out of the men stories in our family. I'll share the female version, which, of course, is much more colorful and outstanding, in a post upcoming. Perhaps these legacy gift examples will offer some inspiration to your thinking on this topic, and a little show note for clarity, not everyone profiled is deceased!:
David Bob Person: Taking care of family first, respecting and appreciating others, the value of education and a passion for lifelong learning.
Quinn Ralph Barton Jr.: Tremendous love, humility, intellect and sense of right; deep faith that defines and guides; a deep caring for everyone around you; and a deep inner strength and character.
And here are a couple more:
There was at piece in the Washington Post earlier this year about adopting a legacy mindset “which benefits others and will survive beyond your lifetime” and how it encourages folks to “think deeper and longer-term.” That really resonated with me. Designing your legacy is the foundation of effective philanthropy, in my opinion. When we think about how we want to be remembered and for what good works, it really informs our giving and our day-to-day interactions with people.
I admire people who are motivated by personal experiences to give authentically, passionately and humbly – and there are a lot of folks who fit that bill, but in different ways. For example, I thought Dolly Parton’s $1 million COVID gift was pretty darn inspiring. A doctor and friend of hers from Vanderbilt told her they were close to finding a cure for the virus and she dug around in her purse and was like, “look here, I can help!” I think her $1 million gift made a lot of people stop and account for how they, too, could apply resources to help during the pandemic. I am also inspired by people like Lois Kirschenbaum, Geoffrey Holt, Terry Kahn and Charles Feeney (Google them!) – all willfully frugal and low-flying people who died during the past two years and left millions to organizations that meant something big to them. I have all the respect for folks who live modestly and bequeath famously.
When I think about my own legacy, I want to make sure it carries forth some of the faded handwritten mantras that have long been taped to our kitchen cabinets, where I hoped they’d brainwash my children and houseguests. Most of them are about the importance of listening and being present like, “be interested, over interesting” and “connection not perfection.” But my personal North Star, is this one: “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” I believe that is the foundation of authentic philanthropy and a legacy that sizzles. Now I just have to make sure I'm living that out so my people take notice and pass it on!
News you can use
You'd better figure out that legacy stuff quickly before your brain cells start acting up. Research points to factors that may accelerate brain aging.
And for Pete’s sake, lay off the booze a little so you’re not remembered for your drinking, geesh.
Whatever you do, surround yourself with good people who can help inspire a magical legacy for everyone who knows you.
Grand Plans Podcast
Season 3 of the Grand Plans podcast is a wrap, and you can find all the great episodes from the season wherever you download your podcasts. Here’s a link to Season 3 Episode 6.
Geris-prudence
How to protect assets from incapacity during your lifetime, from San Antonio-based attorney Seth K. Bell:
Advanced health and wellness
From the National Institute on Aging:
The grand sum
From the National Council on Aging:
“Do you live paycheck to paycheck?
It’s a question you may never have imagined answering “yes” to at this stage in life. But working hard and playing by the rules no longer guarantees financial security in retirement. Sadly, it doesn’t guarantee retirement at all.
Why? Because wages haven’t kept pace with inflation for decades—more than 40 years by some estimates. And that means many Americans who are eligible to retire simply can’t afford to do it.
“To make matters worse, our nation’s badly frayed safety net continues to fail older adults who didn’t have extra to put away for retirement—and who now rely heavily on Social Security to cover their basic living costs,” said Jen Teague, Associate Director for Health Coverage and Benefits at NCOA.
Even with other sources of income, she continued, the margin between what many people take in versus what they spend can be razor-thin. “It’s no wonder that 49% of Baby Boomers say they’re barely able to pay for necessities like housing, food, and transportation,” Teague said, “In essence, this is the very definition of living paycheck to paycheck.”
Still, there’s a silver lining: It’s never too late build new or better budgeting and debt management skills that can help break the cycle. If you’re wondering, “how do I get my finances in order?” this article is for you.” Read article here.
Shelf life
With summer and bathing suit season and exposed upper arms time on the horizon, it’s time to make sure Amy Gunther’s bestselling book, Smarter Not Harder: The Seven Tenets of Mindful Fitness After 50 is on your summer reading list. It is not just for “active seniors”. It is smart fitness advice for people of all ages and fitness levels. It’s just basic common sense that we all need to remember when we exercise!
Shared experience
We can all learn from each other’s geri-scary moments. What are some of your takeaway lessons? What have you promised yourself you’ll never do to your loved ones? What worked for you? What didn’t? More conversation and story-sharing helps elevate the senior experience for all of us. If you want to share your grand tales, email susannabarton@me.com and I’ll put them in an upcoming newsletter.
O-bitchin’
James Loveless, March 11, 1963 — June 14, 2023, Somerset
“Born and raised in Kentucky in 1963-a state that has been recently leaning toward more liberal values, we might add–Jamie, a divorcee, father, grandfather and proud owner of a few lots in the trailer park, had had enough and up and died on us on June 14th in order to avoid another Presidential stolen-election mishap in the near future.
As a gluttonous eater of fried foods and snack cakes, as well as the occasional chili cheese dog, James, tried in vain to give up the ghost by clogging his arteries and having a stroke in 2015. His twin boys, Rocky and Rodney, had other plans and made him go to the hospital.” Read more here.
Some golden gedunk and goods
Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.
And
Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.
