Grand Plans: March 14, 2024
A semi-monthly newsletter from Grand Plans designed to normalize and celebrate our glorious geri-destiny through information, stories, real talk conversation, smart planning and shared experience.
Things I’m prattling on about today
Last Thursday, we were 99.9 percent sure our 16-year-old dog, Dot (left in photo above), was dying. She refused food, stood wobbly like a newborn fawn, and remained listless most of the weekend — staring off hazy-eyed into a faraway world we couldn't see. Her condition came on the heels of some hellish Valentine's Day carpet poop misadventures and weeks of strange behavior, so this "end" seemed par for the course. My husband and I have been on enough doggie hospice patrols in our life to know what it looks like when a beloved pet's rainbow bridge-crossing is imminent. We were at peace with this crossing and, honestly, relieved that we would be released from the purgatory of senior dog caregiving. It's been exhausting, 24-7 and unpredictable, like having a new puppy, but without the yummy breath and warm snuggles.
We were so sure, we called the adulting kids and let them Facetime with Dot — to say goodbye to the family dog who had been their four-legged sibling since they were in the third and first grades.
There were tears. Our son left work early to bid her adieu. We shared funny pictures of her on our family group text and gave her some extra love and attention. We told friends and family this was it. Dot was a gone-er. Sniff. But it was for the best.
The next day, she was back -- like a freaking, canine wrecking ball. Gone were the death stares and trembling legs. Dot had her eyes on a different future.
She drank more water, she demanded food. Climb the stairs to "change the clothes" with Father? Not a problem. Too skinny? So what. Frail? Forget about it. Dot gave that colorful bridge in the distance a middle dew claw and decided she still had some living to do. We were so wrong! The most wrongest and most worstest death-predicting doggie owners ever!
Now we're back to more poop accidents and pee pee pads and special food preparation, and, worst, doggie diapers. I do more daily laundry than I did when there were teenagers in the house. All because this sweet dog is not ready to go yet. And I have to respect that. Dot is on her own schedule, and we cannot influence, predict or control that. Rainbow bridge-crossings illicit colorful moments, challenges, and experiences -- good ones and bad, really bad ones. But it's not to be predicted or calculated. That's in somebody else's paws.
(Post note: Dot passed away Saturday, March 9, at 3:30 p.m. in our Georgia cabin on David’s lap. His account sums it up best: “I’m sad to report that we lost our beloved dog Dot this afternoon. La Dot de Mia du CBFQ (loosely translated ‘the dowry of her mother’) was the last survivor of a litter of Braque Francais puppies from Jersey Sporting Kennels dam Mia du CBFQ and Raid de la Pointe de Chevaliers whelped September 10, 2008.
At age 15, she is pictured below running around our cabin in Georgia where she enjoyed her retirement years. A few months ago near this very spot, she went on a hard point, the last of many I witnessed during our time together. As she waited for me to approach, I was annoyed in the moment that she wouldn’t come back inside, but when I got within 5 yards she looked back at me, repositioned her point and a covey of wild quail filled the air. I knew it wasn’t an actual hunting scenario, but she didn’t. I’m sure she was equally annoyed I hadn’t shot her hard-earned quarry but quickly shook it off and went back to “living her best life.”
Last night she took a turn for the worse, so we drove around the woods all morning looking for turkeys as she declined. I came back to the cabin where Sue and I took turns holding her. She passed away in my lap and will be buried up here next to our beagle Emmy. Interestingly, a turkey made a brief appearance in our field minutes before she passed.
Dot, Little D, Dokie, Little Dorito, Aunt Dot, Dottie girl…she was one of a kind and we’ll miss her. She was “one owner away from being an incredible bird dog.”)
News you can use
Whether we are a dog, cat, she/her, he/him, they/them or a little of everything in between two-legged, four-legged or wing-ed — it is guaranteed we are ALL getting older and will cross a rainbow bridge one day, and therefore must accept and plan for it! Here’s a great NPR RadioLab podcast on the science of it all and why we cannot cheat this system:
“In this episode, Maria Paz Gutiérrez does battle against the one absolute truth of human existence and all life… death. After getting a team of scientists to stand in for death (the grim reaper wasn’t available), we parry and thrust our way through the myriad ways that death comes for us - from falling pianos to evolution’s disinterest in longevity. In the process, we see if we can find a satisfying answer to the question “why do we have to die” and find ourselves face to face with the bitter end of everything that ever existed.”
Loss is unavoidable, and necessary for growth it seems.
If loss is necessary, then there is ample opportunity to celebrate all agers! This article from Senior Planet, unpacks all the great and wonderful things about aging and you should read it! Older people, places and things are everywhere and it’s a beautiful thing!
Here you have two older icons who are on the road again.
In this link, you’ll find some old chapstick.
And lookie here, old tablets.
Cheers to the happy couple!
Here’s the March issue of First Coast Senior Living for your reading pleasure. It will remind you about how much there is to live for in our world and how we can legally prepare for it. You can also download a PDF here.
And we must clean up and out before we leave it! Here’s the most recent Grand Plans post from the 600,000-strong media resource, Sixty and Me. It’s purge-fection, and has generated some great comments from women all over the world!
Write on! Enjoy the latest piece published on agebuzz here.
Mark your calendars. The last Grand Plans: The Workshop event is March 19 from 5 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. at the Literary Lounge in Jacksonville, FL. These gatherings have been so fun!
Grand Plans Podcast
Season 3 of the Grand Plans podcast is rocking and rolling. Each episode is a conversation about four of the 20 steps of a workable Grand Plan recorded from the Grand Plans: The Workshop events, plus a few more surprises. Find it wherever you download your podcasts! Here’s a link to Season 3 Episode 3:
Geris-prudence
From the National Institute on Aging:
Advanced health and fitness
Also from the National Institute on Aging:
The grand sum
As we launch into our Golden Years, one of the biggest financial factors to consider is how we will pay for caregiving, especially the costly, more indefinite kind. Industry figures show 70 percent of American seniors will need some kind of long-term care in their lifetime — that’s most of us, folks! Whether it’s through investment, savings or long-term care insurance policies, how we will pay for our future care is a critical issue and it behooves us to address it today! Long-term care insurance is one much-talked-about option. While we plan to address this topic in a future Season 3 podcast episode, here’s a primer for your brain to noodle. Big thanks to Judi Garwood for sharing it!
Shelf life
I have read half of this book so far, which seems apropos given the title, Half Time: Moving from Success to Significance, by Bob Buford. I LOVE the concept that we are spiritually wired to let go and be led into more purpose, impact and growth during our second half. I like the notion of moving from success to significance, and we can all do a better job with this process. This book is definitely very “Christian-y” and from a male perspective, so read around all that if that’s not your bag. The overall message, however, is so important!
Shared experience
We can all learn from each other’s geri-scary moments. What are some of your takeaway lessons? What have you promised yourself you’ll never do to your loved ones? What worked for you? What didn’t? More conversation and story-sharing helps elevate the senior experience for all of us. If you want to share your grand tales, email susannabarton@me.com and I’ll put them in an upcoming newsletter.
O-bitchin’
Enjoy this viral obituary, it’s a hoot!
Eric A. Sauser: “Eric A. Sauser, AKA Super Dad, AKA Easy, just a rockin' dude from Omaha, NE passed away peacefully in his sleep on Friday, February 26, 2021, at the age of 43 with his wife by his side. His departure was just in time for him to make his spiritual appearance at every Red Sox spring game. Eric is survived by his wife, Crystal and three children, Amelia, Violet and Benjamin all of whom will likely sleep in the same bed for many years to come (sorry, Eric). He is also survived by his loving and caring parents, Ronnie and Paula Sauser, and his sister and aunt extraordinaire, Jessica Sauser. In addition to his immediate family, Eric leaves behind an incredible extended family and many, many friends. He is preceded in death by billions, including his dog Harvey who most of us loved to hate. We are confident they are joyfully reconnecting right now.” (Read the rest of the viral obituary here.)
Some golden gedunk and goods
Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.
And
Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.
