Grand Plans: June 19, 2025

A semi-monthly newsletter from Grand Plans designed to normalize and celebrate our glorious geri-destiny through information, stories, real talk conversation, smart planning and shared experience.

Things I’m prattling on about today

All this recent Father’s Day hoopla has me thinking about how much I miss my Dad, which got me thinking about how special his eulogy was, which reminded me how much I wanted to read it again. So here we are. Eulogies are not easy. It seems like an impossible task! But when you sit down with people you love and reflect on all the good times, sweet mojo just starts spewing from the heart and all the words start to flow real naturally — which was the case when we memorialized Dad at his service in February 2021.

Actually, my brother and I helped with content then we made my husband David do the talking, because — in the moment — neither of us felt much like talking. Good thing people have their strengths.

So, in honor of last weekend’s Father’s Day and to prove to you that good eulogies do happen if you just go with the flow and don’t overthink it, here is David Bob Person’s eulogy, given in February 2021 at Alamo Heights Methodist Church in San Antonion TX by David A. Barton.

“Good morning to each of you and to everyone attending virtually…I can only imagine the list of people is as special and distinguished as David Person was.

On behalf of Susanna, Clay, Ashley and the kids, thank you for being here to celebrate the life of David Person, aka Dave, Dave Bob, Grandaddy, G-pa and even G6.

Nearly 25 years ago we gathered in this holy place to celebrate the marriage of the beautiful Susanna and some guy from Florida she had met in college. Since then, I’ve had the great fortune of being a part of this family, made to feel welcome at every turn.

For those of you I haven’t met, my name is David Barton and I’m David Person’s favorite son-in-law. I have no competition for that title, but I’ll take it and am proud of it.

David was a generous, kind-hearted man who loved his family. He was determined to put other people first and always did the right thing. He was never overbearing or opinionated…always….fast with a compliment…Some adjectives that best describe David

-Affable

-Kind

-Colorful

-Ecclectic

-Generous

-Engaging

-Interested

-Selfless

-Humble

-Joyful

-Gentle

-Dapper

-Unassuming

-Enthusiastic

The list goes on….

One thing we can all recall about David is his expert use of superlatives. He liked to speak in terms of something being “the best.” Most everything he experienced was “the most incredible” …the highest quality or degree. His trip to Egypt? The most amazing. Iran? Ethiopia? The most beautiful places on earth. His favorite movie, “Sideways”???…the greatest. A betty Crocker-inspired homecooked meal was always, every time, “the best he’d ever had.”

So today we thought it’d be appropriate to honor David with cues from his own playbook and reflect on ways in which he truly was “the best.”

David was “the best” dressed…..he took great pride in being appropriately and well dressed for any occasion no matter what it was. He was dapper and stylish whether he was headed to HEB for some fritos or off to a black tie event. His closet, always slap full of suits ties shoes and jackets, would make any fashionista drool with envy. He rocked his look. Everytime. The best.

David was “the best” at pursuing adventure: he loved to travel, and how. car plane train boat … it didn’t matter... he loved to check out new places and write his own next chapter....many times joining other friends and family at the last minute on a trip they may have been planning for months. Sometimes, he’d be the one planning a trip for months, then change his mind at the last minute. You could never predict his plans, but they were always fabulous. His passports from the past 25 years offer a glimpse into his life journeys – England, South America, the Galapagos Islands and beyond. Equally notable were his road warrior adventures around the south and southwest, where he explored new places, attended family events and supported his friends.

David was “the best” at applying his time and talent – always with the utmost generosity and grace in the communities he called home. He formed many impactful, lasting relationships in places like London, San Antonio, Holly Springs, MS…David always sought to make a difference wherever he planted himself.

David was “the best” hunter. But not in the traditional sense…..he was the most accomplished bargain hunter…..whether it was a used car, some fine antiques, furniture and of course, clothes….he was always on the prowl for--- ‘something on the cheap’ he’d say, or a ‘good deal’…..Stores like Solo Serve were his retail hunting grounds…and he’d always come back with a trophy from the discount rack or scratch and dent section or “as-is” shelf….even if he didn’t need it….Costco was also a favorite….David did not buy into the notion that no single man should ever need to shop in bulk.

David was “the best” at following trendy dietary fads and he always described them enthusiastically as--- ‘so good for you….so good’….The current list includes things like blueberries….beets….turmeric…..and the mysterious elixir known best as his homemade ‘caldo’ …..which everyone has heard about, but few actually had the opportunity to sample.

He was “the best” and most generous grandfather…. the energy and enthusiasm he shared with his grandkids Ben, Marley, Clara and Ann was genuine and heartfelt. He shared the gift of his time and attention freely and often with them….trips, cruises and random visits defined by lots of love, laughter and tolerance for family movie choices and activities.

He enjoyed going to the ranch with Clay and the girls.

He was always in the audience for a grandchild’s performance.

He was simply delighted to be “on the scene.” In his early years as Grandaddy, one of his favorite distractions with the kids was riding endlessly on the Skyway Express…a most terribly underused tram system in Jacksonville that goes practically nowhere….which he decided was the very best, most entertaining, biggest bang for your buck activity for two toddlers needing to get out of mom’s hair for a spell.

David was “the best” the expert, top specialist in family genealogy and history and he loved spending time with his family. I know we heard from brother George, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention his brothers Jack and Danny as well. When these men get together it is evident how much they respect and love one another and how much they value family…sharing stories old and new mainly about loved ones…..many of whom are here today….and most of whom are not….from the long gone relatives he’s discovered throughout the south, to the illegitimate son of King Henry the 8^th and Ann Bolyen’s sister Mary…..people that David was proud to claim as ancestors. David not only loved family, he knew the whole story on them. and he was always proud to tell you allllll about that.

David was “the best” husband. While I never had the privilege of knowing Bobbie Ann, I know she inspired David to great depths. David’s commitment to his marriage and their demonstration of love is reflected daily in the lives of his children and their families….in fact, he had such strengths in this area, many of Susanna’s friends expressed interest in becoming her stepmother if the opportunity presented itself. David, it seems, was a dream husband.

David was “the best” at focusing on the big picture and finding the right people to help with the details. For example, on a recent installation of his washer dryer at The Bushnell, David was unable to connect the equipment and sought Clay’s handyman expertise (lamenting the connection parts were nowhere to be found). Following multiple trips to Home Depot, trial and error with parts and tools, the equipment was all set. So they turned on the dryer for a test run – and a loud clanking noise ensued. On closer inspection, both were surprised to find all of the parts they needed were there all along – inside the dryer.

David was “the best” linguist and spoke the most languages of anyone in our family. He spoke Spanish, French, a little German, some South Texas Spanish and of course, Russian. Always a chameleon, he was famous for slipping into dialects, accents, vocabulary, slang and other jargon with the intent of connecting meaningfully – contributing to conversations in a way that surprised and delighted his audience. Though he preferred to blend into the fabric of a conversation or a group, on occasion he could be coaxed into sharing his recitation of a Russian poem he memorized decades ago. A recent celebration of his 80^th birthday, (and Uncle Jack’s 95^th), was one of those times. In a moment, I’ll leave it to David to wrap this up with his signature expression of joy, enthusiasm and distinction.

But in conclusion, David proved that he lived the very best….the greatest….most meaningful life. And for that we are all so grateful. We need more people like him in this world. We need more people who make it their mission to see, be and appreciate “the very, very best.”

News you can use

If you’re one of those people who must read a handbook or article or how-to guide on challenging tasks, here’s a helpful place to start when preparing to write a eulogy: Legacy.com has you covered.

Speaking of legacies, just a reminder that providing content for your own one-day eulogy begins NOW. Time to start living with a legacy mindset!

Here are some eulogy-writing instructions from ChatGPT:

• Start with a Personal Reflection
  Open with your relationship to the person—were you a child, friend, partner, sibling? Begin with a heartfelt memory or simple phrase that reflects who they were to you. It sets the tone and establishes emotional sincerity. Example: “My father was my greatest teacher—not because he lectured, but because he lived with quiet integrity.”

• Highlight Key Qualities and Values
  Think of the traits that defined them—kindness, resilience, humor, loyalty. Use specific examples to illustrate these qualities in action. Avoid long lists and focus on a few memorable attributes that shaped their identity and influenced others.

• Share Meaningful Stories
  Include 1–2 short anecdotes that show who they were, not just what they did. A story about how they helped a neighbor, made you laugh during a hard time, or demonstrated courage is far more powerful than a resume of achievements.

• Acknowledge Their Impact
  Speak to the legacy they leave behind—whether it’s the love they gave, the lessons they taught, or the lives they touched. Consider including how they made people feel and what they would want others to carry forward in their memory.

• End with Gratitude and Goodbye
  Close with a message of thanks and a personal farewell. Express what they meant to you and, if comfortable, offer a hopeful thought about their continued presence in spirit, memory, or legacy.

Or, you could come to one of our upcoming Mindful Aging Strategies: Grand Planning for Second Half Thriving classes at the St. John’s Cathedral Center for Wellbeing and learn a few helpful tips! They are being held at the center every Wednesday at 1 p.m. through the end of June.

Ready to get the conversation started about innovative approaches to senior living with your group? Seniors on a Mission and G3 Village Director Joanne Hickox and I have got you covered. Give me a shout at susannabarton@me.com to schedule a 20-minute presentation on this important aspect of aging vibrantly.

Shelf life

Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and its accompanying workbook, the Grand Planner 2.0, are both published and out on the interwebs for you to order and enjoy! Click links to purchase on Amazon and look for copies in your local bookstores.

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.