Grand Plans: January 2, 2025

A semi-monthly newsletter from Grand Plans designed to normalize and celebrate our glorious geri-destiny through information, stories, real talk conversation, smart planning and shared experience.

Things I’m prattling on about today

Happy New Year! I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and spent some quality time with friends and family. That was definitely the case for me, though 'gotta be real... I am ready to hibernate now. As much as I love celebrating the season with the peeps, my party hat and listening ears get pretty darn heavy by the end of the month. By January, I am rendered tired, glitchy and barely Chardonnay-able thanks to my introversion and the super rude "NO TALKING" sign it waves. "Just go away!", it screams -- to everyone. "Shhhhhh!" My inner Grinch always needs a minute to get comfy and nod off before I can reflect more gratefully on the season and embrace more human connection in the New Year.

Despite my inner party pooper and its negative messaging, I know how important talking with and connecting to your people is as we age. That is why "Communicate With Your People Early, Honestly and Often" is number 12 on the list of 20 steps we can all take to mitigate geri-drama during our second half. Though many of us -- like this Grand Planner! -- have a low tolerance for it, communicating our thoughts, plans and expectations with loved ones is the most important provisions we can make for our active adult life vision.

So, while your dad gum imp-y Introversion Grinch is napping... let’s talk about it, shall we?

In Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps, communication plays a starring role in every chapter. I thought I’d go through the first nine steps – what I call the concrete or “musts” steps – and explain briefly how real talk and sharing information with others can make or break the efficiency of your good planning. You’ll see what I mean.

Step 1: Make lists of everything essential and create a ‘death binder.’

Tell your people exactly what’s in your “death binder” or “important paperwork” file and where it lives, and tell them often.

Step 2: Pen your obituary and plan your funeral objectives

Communication goes a long way with obituary-writing and end-of-life objectives!

Step 3: Hire an attorney and get legit about your affairs.

It is critical to work with an attorney who can draw up important legal documents regarding your last will and testament, durable power of attorney, medical power of attorney, and any trust document creation. Get some order in your court and talk about it ahead of time!

Step 4: Get your financial house and plan in order.

Putting pen to paper on your finances and determining how you will afford the second-half lifestyle you envision is foundational—and working with an expert financial planner seals the deal. Talking with professionals about a strategy is mathematical genius, and communicating your plans—even broadly—to your loved ones is is the sum of greatness.

Step 5: Write your prescription for health, hope and hospital issues and consider your medical thresholds.

Deciding how you wish to be medically treated and having a living will or end-of-life directives in place is an important place to start. But end this critical work by having conversations honestly and often with the people you love.

Step 6: Educate yourself on the cost, scope and reality of the senior life you envision – particularly your residence.

Besides being a good sounding board, the people in your closest circles have good ideas and know you! They can be very helpful when it comes to determining what kind of living arrangement would work for you. Let’s address it (see what I did there?)!

Step 7: Minimize yourself and your stuff.

Organizing, decluttering, minimizing, gifting and donating your stuff is one of the biggest projects of our second-half time. Communicate the value, history and vision of your possessions to the people who will have to deal with it all later.

Step 8: Consider pet acquisitions carefully.

Pets are beneficial to our second-half lives for many reasons. You’re never barking up the wrong tree when it comes to talking about a pet plan.

Step 9: Relinquish the keys and be ready to be a passenger.

Being prepared to hand over the keys is a gift to you, your family and your community. And talking about it ahead of time is the only route that makes it easier. Conversation will help steer you in the right direction on this issue.

We have incredible lives and stories to share, so let’s jump into more conversations and communicate with each other about how to make our Grand Plans grand indeed. Talking about it, whether you enjoy it fully or not, is the key to mitigating geri-drama. Resolve to do more of it in 2025!

News you can use

“More than 37 million of us are assisting older loved ones in some way, such as handling their finances, so they can enjoy their golden years. But when it comes to helping manage their money, there are important steps to take. The first, of course, is to sit down and talk with your mom and dad about it.”

AARP features an End-of-Life Planning resource center with perspectives on starting advance care planning discussions, facilitating discussions with adult children about end of life planning, frequently asked questions and considerations for siblings planning care for parents.

Coda Alliance has a “Go Wish Game,” a card game that is a simple way to think and talk about what’s important to individuals and their family members if someone becomes seriously ill.

Cake is an interactive end-of-life planning website that helps people plan ahead for healthcare, legal, funeral, and legacy decisions. A checklist guides users to create and store important documents that express their final wishes. Users can share secure access to their end-of-life plan, which can be created with the Conversation Starter Guide, with anyone who has an email address. Cake’s mission is to empower everyone to receive end-of-life care that aligns with their values and wishes. Create a free Cake plan.

Cake also hosts a free, comprehensive resource where visitors can download advance directives by US state.

And you can keep up with all the “GeronTOKogy” fun by following MyGrandPlans on TikTok. This is new territory for me so be patient!

Shelf life

I love Mel Robbins and am so excited to get her new book into my hot little hands! All of the points she lists above can help with loved one communication. I highly recommend “The Let Them Theory” and look forward to having a “let them” mindset in 2025.

…And, of course, Grand Plans and the Grand Planner can help walk you through all the great ways to talk to your friends and family about your plans for the second half of life!

Some golden gedunk and goods

Get yourself another few copies of Grand Plans: How to Mitigate Geri-Drama in 20 Easy Steps and the Grand Planner for all the people who like getting gifts in your life! Visit www.mygrandplans.com for links to purchase on Amazon.

And… Check out our Grand Plans merch in our Etsy storefront.